RIP me.
Look, friends — I don"t have time to set shit up today, something"s happening to me! You should"ve read the headline, but the TL;DR is I think I"m becoming...str*ight. And it"s all Lana"s fault.

I"ll just drop you the receipts and go, because I need to go to a doctor to fix this immediately.
Highwaystarz-photography / Getty Images
"What"s up, my dude?"

*nods*
Christopher Polk
"I really want to listen to John Mayer."

*dances to "Heartbreak Warfare"*
Tibrina Hobson / AFP / Getty Images
"Suddenly I love Saving Private Ryan."

A film.
Jamie Mccarthy / Getty Images
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